Last night’s 69th Golden Globes ceremony was glittered by the magical & outrageous presence of Ricky Gervais

Called in to present for the 3rd year in a row, Ricky Gervais outraged & amused its Foreign Press and Hollywood star studded audience with a brutal & hilarious set of jokes

Let’s go through the greatest clips from the show in HD and register what the reactions from Ricky‘s victims – favourable and enraged – were, shall we?

7. Justin Bieber‘s Paternity Test

Justin Bieber nearly had to take a paternity test. What a waste of a test that would have been. No, he’s not the father. The only way that he could have impregnated a girl was if he borrowed one of Martha Stewart‘s old turkey basters. Open wide!

6. Madonna Is Like A Virgin

Ricky Our next presenter is the Queen of Pop. No, not you Elton. She’s all woman. She’s always vogue, she’s a Material Girl and she’s just Like A Virgin. Please welcome Madonna

Madonna If I’m still a virgin Ricky, then why don’t you come on do something about it? I haven’t kissed a girl in a few years. On TV

5. Salma Hayek & Antonio Banderas Censored Joke

I can’t wait to introduce our next presenters. It’s Salma Hayek and Antonio Banderas, so you can see why I’m excited. They’re ridiculously gorgeous specimens, they’re extremely talented and probably very interesting. I’m not sure, cause I can’t understand a fucking word they say [censored]

4. Jodie Foster‘s Beaver

I mustn’t mention Mel Gibson this year. Not his private life, his politics, his recent films and especially not Jodie Foster‘s Beaver. I haven’t seen it myself. I’ve spoken to a lot of guys here – they haven’t seen it either… but that doesn’t mean it’s not any good!

3. Kim Kardashian & Kate Middleton

The Golden Globes are to the Oscars what Kim Kardashian is to Kate Middleton. Bit louder. Bit trashier. Bit drunker. And more easily bought…allegedly, nothing’s been proved

2. The Oscars & Eddie Murphy

Who needs the Oscars? Not me. And not Eddie Murphy. He walked out on them, he said no, and good for him. But when the man who said yes to Norbit says no to you, you know you’re in trouble

1. Ricky Gervais‘ Tiny Penis

The Hollywood Foreign Press gave me a list of rules, and this is real. No profanity. That’s fine. I’ve got a huge vocabulary. No nudity. See, that’s a shame, because I’ve got a huge…vocabulary. But tiny penis. It’s true! It doesn’t matter. I don’t care about it. It works. Don’t worry about it. It’s fine

Enjoy the full opening monologue from Ricky Gervais‘ show here on 7films!

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